Ever notice that when you open a magazine to get advice on relationships, there are always articles that steer you in the direction of how to get that special person? It’s almost as if they aren’t expecting failure or rejection.
No one really discusses what to do if you happen to be rejected, because you are the central point of life and you can do anything you put your mind to, or so the media wants you to believe. This idea affects us in the worst way, because when rejection finally does come our way we don’t know how to deal with it. It isn’t a normal trend, and therefore we fear it and often times ignore how we feel instead of dealing with it properly.
Rejection happens. For those of you who believed otherwise, life is not one of those overdone love stories where everything falls into place.
It isn’t that sappy romance novel where the beautiful Latin man comes and sweeps you off of your feet in a fury of breathless tenacity.
Once you begin to accept that rejection is just a normal part of the dating process, it’ll make dealing with it alot easier.
Next, take a step back and evaluate just how everything makes you feel. Contrary to popular belief, it is okay to be hurt by the other person. Bottling all of the negative emotions inside and acting as if it doesn’t bother you will only lead to an extreme breakdown. The sooner you deal with the negative feelings, the sooner you can let them go and move on.
If you have taken the time to evaluate just how this whole situation makes you feel, and you have decided that you are over the rejection, then it is okay to strive for a friendship with this other person.
There is, however, a downside to evaluating beginning a friendship with the person. By letting your guard down with your ex-fling, the feelings of rejection may slowly return, And by default this means that you aren’t ready to be just friends.
The next step is a lot more simple then one would think it is: just move on. Let go, toss all of the extra baggage overboard.You have finally reached the point where you have done all that you can on your end. If the person doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, then nothing that you do or say will change that person’s mind.
Rejection is normal, and dealing with it can be hard if you continue to repress your feelings. Just take some time off and deal with your emotions even though they make you feel vulnerable. And just remember, nothing is wrong with you if you do get rejected.
*If you have a relationship-based question please write in to Kmachari@sunyrockland.edu and I will try to be fair and discreet in answering all of your questions.
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