Zombie Sighting

"Zombie sightings" have been the talk of campus for the past two weeks. Starting on Oct. 10, there have been reported sightings of three "zombies" running around campus and screaming at innocent bystanders.

"There were a lot of weird phone calls coming in" said George Yehokay, who was working the security desk at the time. "People are calling and saying that "zombies" were chasing them down the hall."

After some questioning, police officials found out that the three alleged "zombies" were just students running around campus dressed as zombies trying to scare people.

"Well, me and the bros were back at my house watching "Hocus Pocus" and sharing a few brewskies, when we were just overcome with the Halloween spirit," explained one of the perpetrators of the scaring, Justin Nowayo.

As it turns out, these three individuals were drinking heavily and watching the 1993 Halloween classic "Hocus Pocus," when they decided that it was a "bright" idea to run around the schools' campus and scare people sitting on benches or in the parking lots.

"This was just a joke that has gone considerably wrong" said Officer Krupsky. As of last week, six people were admitted for psychological treatment from this incident.

The offenders wouldn't have been caught if not for student Tom "Thug Life" Rodgemen. "I was all sleeping in my car when all of a sudden three idiots dressed as zombies showed up and started banging on my car," Rodgemen stated angrily.

"I knew they were just kidding because they kept saying ‘Sarah Jessica Parker is so scary' but I drew the line when they started peeing on my car, " he continued.

Apparently Mr. Thug Life could not tolerate three drunk zombies urinating on his 2001 Honda Civic, and he immediately called the police.

Thankfully all who were involved are taking it well. As a joke some students have set up a fake "Zombie Hot line."